Principles in Practice

HOW TO MAKE A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION

Do you know how to make a good first impression? Have you ever looked back on a first meeting and wished you had handled it differently?

Let God Shine Through You

What is God's perspective on first impressions? I believe the thing God most wants another person to see in you as a Christian is Himself. You do not need to beat every person you meet over the head with your testimony. But I believe God wants others to sense a positive difference in you.

This is more than the difference a wonderful personality makes. It is the presence of God shining through you to people you meet.

For God to shine through, you must know God yourself in a personal way. Then His presence becomes part of who you are. In other words, you cannot just decide to have God shine through you to another person. You have to concentrate on being who He wants you to be, so that He can make Himself visible through you.

Part of being who He wants you to be includes how you carry yourself, how you groom and dress yourself, as well as how you conduct yourself. There is a lot more to being the person God wants you to be than just making a good first impression. But making a good first impression can be a very good place to start becoming whom He wants you to be.

Make Cleanliness Next to Godliness

You can have nice clothes, be gifted in conversation and conduct yourself impeccably, but if your clothing is dirty or you have body or breath odor, the positive attributes are quickly forgotten.

Have you ever heard it said that if you have bad breath, your best friend will not tell you? Well, it is true. We are reluctant to wound others. But there are things that can be done about bad breath, and if I have bad breath, I want someone to tell me so I can deal with it.

So, too, body odor can overrule all your other attempts to leave a good first impression. The solution to body odor is good personal hygiene. This may include diet, or bathing or even laundry. There may be cosmetic solutions. Again, if you do not know what else to do, ask your doctor.

The most effective way to find out whether you have bad breath or disagreeable body odor is to ask your spouse or best friend. Tell the person that you will not be hurt or offended if they have to answer "Yes." And while you are at it, ask if there is anything else you might do to help you make a good first impression.

Focus on Posture and Carriage

While posture and carriage may not seem very spiritual, they are definitely a critical part of a first impression. Work on one area at a time.

For example, maybe you need to deal with excess weight. If so, you need to know how to do it. If you know God wants you to lose weight, then recognize your failure to take charge of this problem as disobedience. Confess it as sin and ask God to help you change your behavior.

Once you have identified an area to work on, and you are motivated to pursue it, the solution is within your grasp. If you need information, read a book or find an expert. If you need training, attend a seminar or register for a class. If you need accountability, find someone to whom you can hold yourself accountable. Explain the problem and the solution and report to them periodically on your progress.

Attractive posture and carriage greatly contribute to a good first impression. If your motive is to please the Lord, the confidence and self-esteem that accompanies good posture and carriage can be an invaluable vehicle for letting Him shine through you.

Keep Grooming and Clothes Appropriate

We need to see making a good first impression as something we are doing as unto the Lord, as a testimony to His presence in our lives. One way we can do that is to groom and clothe God's temple in a tasteful and appropriate manner. The key here is to present yourself in a way that is first pleasing to the Lord and secondly, designed to leave a favorable impression with the person you are meeting for the first time.

A somewhat controversial grooming example is length of hair. Some feel that the Bible disapproves of long hair on men. Others feel no such constraints. The critical question is: What does God want you to do? If you run the risk of causing others to stumble, the question may become not what your rights are, but what your responsibilities are. You may have the right to have long hair and still find that God wants you to surrender that right. And certainly, if you are trying to make a good first impression on someone for God's sake, and they would not be favorably impressed, you might want to rethink your position.

Wearing the clothes God wants you to wear when you meet someone for the first time may be very important. Good taste is the bench mark here. If a tuxedo is appropriate, but purchasing one would cause you to overspend, it might be better to skip a black tie affair than to spend money you do not have. More likely, a way can be found to solve the dilemma without overspending, such as borrowing or renting the clothes.

Converse with Genuine Interest

Our conversation includes not only what we say, and, equally important, what we do not say, but how we say what we do say. The self-improvement experts will tell you that things like greater vocabulary, a knowledge of etiquette and a wide variety of knowledge and interests are essential to being a success. Those things are nice, but I believe that God is much more pleased with your genuine interest in the other person. If you can learn to listen, your conversation will likely be more impressive than if you are displaying more overt skills. Eye contact and diplomacy usually will stand you in much better stead than any knowledge you might have to offer.

Displaying interest in the other person's views and genuinely complimenting the other person on his or her strengths is generally difficult to top. I believe the Lord is more interested in how we care for others than in how much we impress them. In fact, the Bible tells us that whoever humbles himself will be exalted and that humility when combined with obedience brings wealth and honor and life.

To the extent you can identify and share common interests with the other person, you will likely leave a good first impression. And to the extent that you can comfortably identify your relationship with the Lord in your conversation, you are likely to solidify a good impression. Even an unbeliever will be left with a good first impression if he senses that you are comfortable in being casually open about your relationship with the Lord.

Making a good first impression first involves our obedience to God, our commitment to becoming the person He wants us to be. And secondly, it is stepping out in faith, confident that He will shine through us as we focus on pleasing Him.

In other words, you cannot just decide to have God shine through you to another person. You have to concentrate on being who He wants you to be, so that He can make Himself visible through you.

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