Glad Tithings

Family newsletter of Christian Stewardship Ministries

"Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found trustworthy." (1 Cor. 4:2)

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© 1997 by Christian Stewardship Ministries

Glad Tithings is a newsletter of Christian Stewardship Ministries, a nonprofit public foundation. To receive Glad Tithings regularly, send your name and address (with a zip code) to CSM. Gifts are tax deductible, greatly needed and deeply appreciated. The ministry's annual cost per person is approximately $15. Any portion of this newsletter may be quoted or reproduced without further permission, provided excerpts are in context, by adding the following credit line: "Reprinted from Christian Stewardship Ministries' newsletter Glad Tithings, Fairfax, Virginia," and furnishing a copy to CSM.

Christian Stewardship Ministries, 10523 Main Street, Fairfax, Virginia 22030. Telephone 703-591-5000, fax 703-273-1795, e-mail ken@csmin.org

DEALING WITH PRIDE

Is pride good or bad? Check the Bible, and you will find it all depends on the context. For example, Proverbs 11:2 says, "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom." In that context, pride is clearly a negative. On the other hand, Proverbs 17:6 says, "Children's children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children." When it comes to family relationships, pride can be a positive.

What is Pride?

To understand pride, we need to understand humility. Let's define humility as "awareness of God's role." Pride that includes humility is not necessarily bad in and of itself. However, pride without humility results in an excessive awareness of self, and that is a problem. We can have pride in our children, pride in the appearance of our home, pride in an accomplishment, and yet not be guilty of the sin of pride. Paul spoke on many occasions of the value of having pride in oneself and in others. Whether pride is sinful or not depends upon whether we acknowledge God as the source of all our abilities, accomplishments and blessings. Let's deal then with "bad pride" or sinful pride. This we will call pridefulness.

Pridefulness is an issue that God has brought to my own attention recently. I tend to think that I do not have a pride problem. That perception alone can be a problem! If we have a prideful attitude about not being prideful, we are guilty of two things: pride and spiritual blindness.

My wife Pat often refers to my "spiritual pipeline" or "Ken's pipeline to God." When she uses that phrase, I have to listen carefully. Sometimes she means it in a positive way, referring to my hearing God clearly and without distortion. Other times she means it in a negative way, implying that I am prideful about thinking I can hear God clearly when she really thinks I'm just full of myself.

Where Does Pridefulness Appear?

Recently I had a disagreement with a store manager. I took pride in intimidating her because I saw her as arrogant. But I knew at the time that I was not pleasing the Lord. I knew I was wrong. Pridefulness came into play when, having realized my sin, I did not ask her forgiveness. It has been several weeks now, and I still have not done it. The more time that passes, the easier it is to avoid taking this step--procrastination is a wonderful means of searing the conscience!

In another case, I carefully planned an activity well in advance, based on my understanding of what the Lord wanted me to do. But so few people were interested, it had to be cancelled. Yet my pride suffered because I was so sure I was following God's guidance. Even though the event was quietly dropped, I had to acknowledge, if only to myself, that I missed the boat somewhere. I am still seeking God on what went wrong.

Even closer to home, over the past several months, Pat has been very unhappy with my performance as a husband. I had tried to do better, but made no great progress in her eyes. So I asked her if she wanted to appear before my board of accountability to speak on this issue. She agreed and reported a number of my shortcomings to my board. I had to swallow my pride to keep my mouth shut, but I did, and I now seem to be making some progress. I suspect that in addition to all my other shortcomings, pridefulness kept me from hearing points that Pat was trying to make.

What Can We Do About Pride?

The first step of course is to ask God to reveal areas of pridefulness to you. Once you discover an area, acknowledge it. Do not try to discover all the areas--that may take the rest of your life! When you become aware of an area, purpose to do something about it. God will show you other areas after you have demonstrated to Him that you are serious about dealing with those he has already revealed.

Confess your disobedience and affirm your willingness to change. If necessary, ask Him to help you confess your pridefulness. It might be a good idea to share this with someone else. Perhaps you are proud of your financial success and all you have accomplished by your own hard work in your business. Whoops! Telling someone that you have suddenly realized that you are prideful about your business success may energize you to act on your confession.

Repentance is the next step, and it may be the most difficult. It may be very hard to feel sorry about taking so much pride in achievements in which you have invested so much of yourself. Ask God to give you an attitude of repentance. Admit your difficulty and ask the Lord to help you to see your pridefulness as He sees it. Perhaps the issue for you is that others see you as a spiritual giant--and you agree! Should you be sorry about your spiritual maturity? Of course not. But remember Proverbs 16:18, "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." So it is critical to repent of pridefulness once you become aware of it.

Can You Really Change?

With God's help, you can overcome pridefulness. Purpose to change your behavior. Commit yourself to acting differently and identify the first step. Suppose your area of pridefulness is your hair. You are so proud of your hair that you spend far too much time arranging it perfectly. Your action step might be to set an arbitrary time limit on how much time you devote to fixing your hair. You might ask someone else how much time you should devote to it and let his or her answer be your guide.

Perhaps hardest in correcting pridefulness is relinquishing the object of your pride. Maybe you are proud of your personal organization. You have worked hard to become organized, punctual and dependable. You may have to give up your "right" to be so organized and punctual. You may need to be willing to be late sometimes in order to accommodate your poor husband or wife who is never on time.

Pride is almost a universal problem. Even Moses, described as the most humble man on earth, experienced it, and it cost him the chance to enter the Promised Land. Everyone struggles with pridefulness in some way. If this is an area that God wants you to address, do not delay. Your pridefulness may be separating you from others in the Body of Christ. And it may be preventing you from fulfilling your mission in the Kingdom and moving on in your walk with God. Do not let pridefulness stop you from receiving the spiritual growth and blessings God has for you. Begin to deal with it today.